The Rule of 3!

Success is simple. It’s just not easy. I’ll prove it to you with this very simple, extremely powerful formula. I call it the rule of 3.

Put this into practice for one week. If you do it without cheating, you will not be the same person at the end of seven days.

What will be different about you? You’ll experience a freedom of choice like never before. Outer circumstances will not control how you feel or what you accomplish. You’ll gain a new power to create whatever kind of life you want.

Here are the three rules:

Sounds simple enough, right? Let’s look closely at what these two words mean. You’re driving to work, and someone dangerously cuts in front of you. Don’t blame that driver for anything. Wish them a great day; wish them relief from the anxiety or pressure that caused them to risk their life and yours in traffic. Next, and this ain’t easy, take responsibility for what just happened. What?! Hold on a second, Di Bianco, you’re nuts!

If you just thought that or even said it out loud, I understand. Your reaction is logical. But the rule of 3 is not about logic. It operates at a deeper level of self-awareness.

Are you responsible for the other driver’s actions? That’s not what I’m saying. But, on some level, you did attract that person into your world. Your mind doesn’t have to believe this right now. Just allow the possibility that it’s true.

Here’s what you are fully responsible for. Your response to the incident. Notice, I did not write your reaction. Response involves choice. Reaction is automatic. You could react with anger. You could swear at the careless driver. You could focus on all the stupidity and recklessness in the world. And that will change your state. You will begin to feel tense. You may carry a foul mood throughout your day.

Then, at the end of the day, you could blame the careless drive for the exhaustion you feel. Have you ever done something like that? I have. It is less than empowering. So, for the next seven days, DON’T BLAME.

This is a tricky one. Another word for explain is justify. I’m guilty of this. In the past, it was my default mode. Here’s what it looks like. You’re driving to an important meeting, and you’re right on schedule. Suddenly, traffic grinds to a halt. You sit without moving for ten minutes. Finally, the bumper to bumper crush begins to crawl. You are going to be late. Your cell phone is out of your reach.

You arrive at the meeting twenty minutes late. A colleague shoots you an irritated look. Naturally, you want to explain that you were stuck in traffic. DON’T! Sit down and participate. If anyone asks, simply say, “I apologize for inconveniencing you.” Oh no, this is too much Di Bianco! That’s your reasonable voice protesting. Remember, these rules have nothing to do with reason. Don’t explain. Take full responsibility and move forward.

This one’s huge. We all complain from time to time. Some do it all the time. It’s easy. If your eyes are open, and you are awake, you will find many things to complain about. Refuse to complain about anything for one whole week. That means you don’t even complain silently. You know, when you engage in self-talk. This requires attention and discipline.

What’s coming up for you right now? Is your intellect constructing strong arguments against what you’ve just read. I’d be surprised if you answered no. I challenge you to challenge your intellect. Approach this with the blind faith of a Zen student before a master. Reserve all judgement until the end of your seven day experiment.

You may be astonished at how powerful you feel at the end of that week. Opportunities may suddenly appear out of “nowhere.” Your internal shift may open the door to new horizons of success. Please share your wins in a blog comment that will empower you and everyone who reads it.

Thank you.

8 Responses to “The Rule of 3!”

  1. admin says:

    Omar, you have the energy and mindset of a true Warrior. You will master this.

    Thanks for including a valuable resource.

  2. Sergio Felix says:

    Hey Louis,

    Wow man, this challenge doesn’t looks easy at all but then again, it wouldn’t be a challenge then right?

    Blaming, Explaining (justifying) and Complaining, wow that pretty much describes me, very accurately actually.

    I think I’m going to try it for a few days or the suggested week.

    Although I’m sure it is going to be hard as hell, I can see the rewards if I do manage to succeed with the mindset change.

    Thanks for sharing this great idea man, all the best and speak soon!


    • admin says:

      Thank you for your enthusiastic contribution. You can definitely succeed at this challenge.

      I find that the mindset shift begins with LANGUAGE. How can you rephrase, “I’m sure it is going to be hard as hell” so that it empowers you?

      Once again, thanks for enriching our dialogue.

      • Sergio Felix says:

        Okay this is harder than I thought! (already said I suck on twitter but at least I’m aware of this now)

        So how about…

        – I’m sure I’m going to dominate this challenge!

        Hope that’s better. 🙂

        I’m definitely going to do this and thanks for the lightning fast response, I really appreciate it.


        • admin says:

          Yes! That is a brilliant reframe. It is a step into an empowering belief.

          There’s a wonderful book called Aspire, that raises your awareness about the power of language to shape your reality.

          You can find the details in my Jan. 1 post about the top 10 books for 2012.

  3. Ok Louis,

    I’m going to take this challenge for no one other than myself because I see me in so much above and as we all have to admit, “sometimes the truth hurts.”

    So I know I am a good person, a successful person and a person that needs to quit making excuses,blaming, and complaining and start making changes.

    I read a book a quite a few years back called ” Don’t sweat the small things cause they are all small things.” and I found the above post brought back some recollections from that book. Oddly enough while speaking with Omar Martin on the phone not so long ago I found myself making a reference to the book then… time to reread that book I guess.
    But “thanks” for such a great and as Omar stated “powerful” post.

    To your continued success,

    David Caudill

    • admin says:

      Thanks for jumping in. congratulations on embracing the challenge. How is it going for you?

      And thank you for reminding me about that wonderful book.

  4. Omar Martin says:

    WOW LOUIS! What a powerful message this is.
    As I was reading it, I could remember how just today I made these very mistakes in my own self talk.

    I once read a very inspiring book by Dr. Shad Helmstetter
    “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself”

    As humans we all find ourselves having negative thoughts from time to time and the challenge is to beat them out with positive self talk.

    Your rule of 3 is a similar challenge and I have written it down and posted it on my computer. I am challenging myself for the next 7 days.

    Thanks for this excellent post.